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Turf Deli Spring Racing Carnival - Weekend Hussler Tribute
Turf Deli System Revealed 25/10/2008

We often get emails asking us to reveal our deepest secrets when it comes to picking winners.

Of course, there is no system, we don’t believe in systems or sure things, just a bit of common sense, a bit of homework, a bit of luck and a bit of fun along the way.

OK…you conspiracy theorists can probably see straight through that. Lies, lies and more lies fabricated by the CIA, US government and The Wiggles (who are the real power brokers pulling the strings globally).

The Turf Deli System , like any respectable scam, is based on technology developed by NASA for the space race. Leading scientists discovered that although the software was really crap at stopping asteroids crashing into Earth , it wasn’t half bad at predicting winners at feature Melbourne race meetings.
 

We are now proud to offer the following packages EXCLUSIVE to our members :

- The Gullibility 2500
Be impressed by our brochure showing stock standard images of happy grey rinse retired couples playing tennis in a financially secure world, young single mums now being able to provide for their child’s every need and middle aged men in flashy sports cars.

- The Easy Impressed by Pretty Graphs Platinum Pack
For those who are more discerning and like to see some reported figures, we can easily provide any number of back dated and manipulated graphs showing ever spiralling profits. Most of course, should be viewed upside down in the finest Mr Squiggle tradition (“It’s Upside Down – Miss Jane”).

- The Doubting Thomas XXVII
For those who are not so easily led, this package aims to quell the age old question “Why would you sell a system that works, rather than just use it to make money for yourself ?” Simple, whilst the financial gains last a weekend or till the next phone bill comes in, the ability to boast about backing a 20-1 winner can in some instances, last a lifetime.


But don’t believe us – here are some testimonials from real people that we made up :

“I’m so gullible I’ll buy anything. “

“This is by far the best scam I have ever been sucked into. Congratulations”

“Between the premium priced phone services, the hidden charges, and the identity theft I didn’t stand a chance. This is fleecing at it’s finest”



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