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Turf Deli Spring Racing Carnival - Racing Good Things
In Search Of - The Good Thing 19/10/02

This week Turf Deli goes In Search Of - The Good Thing - Does it exist ?

Or is it a creature of mythology and hear say ? The sure thing on the race track. Sure it exists in hindsight, but then again most guys swear that they were "in" with that blonde at the bar when they are forced to leave by their friends on a Friday night as well.

Scientists at the internationally re-known Institute du Punt have just completed years of detailed research into the subject. In a laboratory experiment involving mice that were genetically modified to behave like racehorses, being bet on by other mice genetically modified to act like punters (with cute little pork pie hats) the following observations were made :

1. Mice like cheese

2. The likelihood of The Good Thing winning decreases with how badly you need it to win. So, the best thing to do is not actually care about whether it wins or not. Play it cool. Be ambivalent. Don't even listen or watch the race. Look at the results a couple of days later whilst doing the crossword.

3. The likelihood of The Good Thing winning decreases with how much money you have on it. So, just make it a $1 each way and you are home.

4. The likelihood of The Good Thing winning decreases with the number of people you tell about. Hence, you can declare a good thing - and it will win - you just can't tell anyone about it. The best you can do is write it on a slip of paper and produce it from a sealed envelope after the race in magician style. Though you might get a few strange looks walking around the track in that black pointy hat and cape.

Based on the these results, the conclusion was that there is a sure fire method to get your Good Thing home week after week - just write your predictions on a piece of paper and don't do anything about it. Depends whether you want the financial reward and lifestyles of the rich and famous, or just the warm inner glow that only you know how really clever you are.

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