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Turf Deli Spring Racing Carnival - Oaks Day
Oaks Day 2000 - Preview - Gold Diamond Princess 09/11/00

We’ve had the spin doctors working over time trying to find some positives from our tips on Cup Day, but, well, there is no point denying it - Turf Deli’s tips on Cup day were a horror to behold. The other races on Cup day (apart from the Cup) are usually shockers, so can’t say we were particularly surprised by it all. Was a horror day for punters, but sure there were plenty of once a year punters backing outsiders who had a ripper day.

About the only thing we got close to right is how god awful the overseas horses are. Despite the ‘expert’ tipsters tipping and talking them up year, after year, after year, Turf Deli still won’t have a bar of the media spruiking and beat ups - they are utterly useless. You probably would have noticed the overseas stayers on your way home at the train station - hanging around, looking forlorn, Paddington Bear style, with a roughly written note around their neck saying ‘Free to a good home’.

Turf Deli used to work at Oaks Day many a year ago, when the crowd was still mainly female, and had not been contaminated by the large contingent of leering, over zealous and drunken males who believe that by ironing a shirt and donning a $5 tie they have suddenly become Mr Sophistication and totally irresistible The female punter on Oaks Day, on the other hand, likes nothing better than having their 50 cents each way on any horse whose name contains the word “diamond” or “princess” or “gold” or “zephyr”.

These days, the Oaks seem to be mainly about flirting and perving with many dreaming of backing more than a winner. Which makes me wonder, with the hive of drinking, flesh and sunburn how many actually meet their perfect match ? (perfect match being defined as a) conscious, b) opposite sex, c) within groping distance). And say the failure rate of contraception (allowing for blood alcohol levels) is around 5%, how many potential Oaks Day babies does that leave us with ?. You will be able to pick these up in nine months time looking at the births columns for babies with the names ““diamond” or “princess” or “gold” or “zephyr”

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