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Turf Deli Spring Racing Carnival - On The Lawn
Cox Plate 2004 - Preview - Suggestions for New Bet Types 23/10/2004

Much has been made this spring of the TAB introducing new and even more bizarre bet types guaranteed to be of little or no interest to punters, but sure to be greeted with standing ovations in boardrooms throughout the corporate headquarters. Like the Mystery 6 for instance, where extremely lucky punters can take home a colossal $110 for finding 4 winners on the day, instead of the thousands they would normally get for backing 4 winners straight out to win. Punters, of course, are not allowed to pick their own numbers (that would be cheating), as that might actually increase their enjoyment and may lead to people winning unnecessarily.

An unfortunate side effect of these new bets however, is that all races now have to be put back 10 minutes to allow the race caller to complete reading out the ever expanding list of dividends (it's like a mini Brownlow Medal after every race - and it does not come more exciting than that !).

We have come up with some more sure fire successes for new bet types :

PIE IN THE SKY : simply select the 1st 8 horses in every race in the country between noon and 5pm. As betting only opens at 10:30am in the morning, you actually need to start the night before to fill out the very large betting slip.

THE WORKS : a win, a place, quinella, trifecta, large fries and a coke.

ALLITERATE : bet on the first letter of the winners names A-Z

DUMPER : first horse to feel the urge in the mounting yard. You can take No 1s, No 2s or go for the double

GODZILLA : simply pick out the winner of the feature race and double it with the first large city worldwide to be destroyed by a freak mutant sea creature. Please note it is illegal for registered mad scientists and hell bent world domination maniacs to place a bet.

THE EARLY CROW - pick the leader at the 100M

THE RETRO - the last 3 runners home (not including the ambulance)

THE DOG'S DINNER - pick the winner of Race 2, the 3rd placed horse in Race 5, the 7th horse in Race 8 and the crowd attendance to the nearest thousand to collect big.

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