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c Turf Deli Spring Racing Carnival - Caulfield Guineas 2003 Preview
Caulfield Guineas  2003 - Preview - Classic Caulfield. 11/10/03

Caulfield race course has re-invented itself over the last couple of years and is now referred to a “Classic Caulfield”, where only the highest quality racing is held in a stylish and elegant atmosphere.

As Classic Caulfield is now an exclusive and high class venue, please be aware of the following changes this year :

1. Please wipe your feet at the door and remove your shoes. They have just put down new grass and they don’t want it to get dirty.

2. There will be bouncers on all the doors, so its no denim, no runners and definitely no cartoon novelty ties. Be prepared to join the long line circling around the block as people queue waiting for someone to leave so they can enter. If you are not accompanied by a VIP then your chances of getting in are pretty slim indeed (best bet is to find an off season AFL footballer still staggering around from an end of season drinking binge).

3. All food and drink will now be gourmet, so pies will become “a delicious selection of meats hand dipped into choice gravy and gently rolled into a fine pastry, baked to perfection in a climate controlled oven” and chips will become “ choice potatoes hand picked from the field, hand peeled and sliced and smothered in a rich batter with just a fragrance of the very best sodium chloride nature has to offer”. Strangely enough, the pies will still be lukewarm.

4. All horses will now be required to parade to classical music in full dressage regale around the parade ring.

5. All barracking must be in your finest English, so no swearing and lots of “Hip Hip Hoorays” and “Jolly Good Ride Old Son”.

6. Race books will now come in leather bound 3 volume sets with gold embossed lettering. Race previews and form comments will be interspersed with quotes from all the literary greats - Shakespeare, Tolstoy and Max Walker.

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