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Turf Deli Spring Racing Carnival - Caulfield Cup No Thanks

Turf Deli Racing News

Caulfield Cup ? Err...No Thanks

What is it with the Caulfield Cup this year ?

Does it smell ?

No - what you are smelling there is just the putrid stench of our awful tips. Scrub as hard as you like - there is no getting rid of that.

Have another sniff ?

It just seems that no-one is that interested in running in the Caulfield Cup this year.

It is a traditional part of spring racing that you aim for the Melbourne Cup coming through a Caulfield Cup preparation, just as those in their mid teens follow the traditional spring Caulfield Cup - VCE English Exam - Schoolies Week preparation.


Actually we will plead guilty there to a very cheap shot for a extremely cheap laugh.

Although the Caulfield Cup Day crowd is always on the younger side there has been a serious crack down on under age drinking in the last couple of years and the Melbourne Racing Club have implemented policies to address the issue. If you look remotely under 30, not only will you need to provide photo id, birth certificate, assorted baby photos and a DNA sample, but you will also probably get ID checked, X-rayed, scanned and strip searched 4-5 times before you actually get to the bar.

There is also no under 18 entry unless you are accompanied by an adult over 30. Which six months ago would have been a great cue to do a St Kilda school girl gag - and be celebrated for at least ten minutes for reaching the very pinnacle of sharp wit in our modern twitter-verse. Can we have a FM breakfast radio slot yet ? Pretty please ?

But seriously, back to the racing.

For weeks the Caulfield Cup betting market has been full of more asterisks, footnotes and disclaimers than a dodgy cheapskate gift voucher (which always make a great Xmas gift). Before the final field was announced, most of the Caulfield Cup favoured runners had (doubtful), (unlikely), (you would have to be joking) and (not in a million years - you creep) next to their name.

This spring, all the trainers seemed to be shuffling their feet, looking awkward and making mumbling excuses when it comes to the Caulfield Cup.

"Oh you know - we would love to run him, but I have the kids that weekend."

"Think we are away that weekend. Need some paddock time and to get back to nature. Sorry - some other time ?"

"Too old for this sort of stuff - thanks anyway."

Last year's winner DESCARADO, despite returning to form last weekend at Caulfield passed on running.
"Got a Caulfield Cup already, so been there and done that - sussing out this Cox Plate thingy this year".

Reigning Melbourne Cup winner AMERICAIN passed saying he had put on too much weight and besides he had a hot date lined up with BLACK CAVIAR. Being a Frenchie he does like his black caviar. Oh la la

Improving stayer SHEWAN who won the traditional lead up, the Hebert Power last week, also dodged the subject. "Had a biggie last weekend mate, planning to lay low this weekend".

The in form GLASS HARMONIUM politely declined.
"Off to the Cox Plate mate, hoping they are going to get Daryl Braithwaite so play his hit Horses before the race again. Totally love that song - worth going just for that. Guy is a legend".

Most of the Williams stable runners LINTON, MOURAYAN, EFFICIENT, AT FIRST SIGHT all go straight to the Melbourne Cup. Not that they have any choice in the matter, it is just their owner Lloyd Williams has this total and utter Melbourne Cup obsession and has banned them from going anywhere near those south eastern Caulfield types and their so-called cup.

It is like the nerdy kid trying to get the cool people to come to his birthday party. Everyone seems to want to go for that flashy Cox Plate next week. TABCORP even threw in a two million dollar bonus for any horse that won the Cranbourne and Caulfield Cup, but that didn't help. In a last ditch desperation move the Melbourne Racing Club has put signs out on Dandenong Rd near the racecourse - "Got a Horse and free next weekend ? Come and have a race."

Which just leaves the international horses - dozens of them slumming it in a backpackers down at Werribee that is so bad that they call it the Quarantine Centre. Any you know that they will turn up to absolutely anything..

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