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Win a date with Tatiana !! 07/10/00

We will be running a phantom call of the Melbourne Cup this year, and the main prize for this one is a doosey - a night out on the town with Tatiana the girl of every fair dinkum red blooded Aussie male’s dreams.

To enter is simple. We only have four runners in our phantom call, and the first person to correctly pick the winner, gets the main prize

Melbourne Cup Phantom Call : 3200M Handicap at Flemington.

The final field is :

1. Tatiana Grigorieva

2. Subzero

3. John Howard

4. The American 4x100M track relay team.

* Conditions of entry: The Tatiana described in the prize list is the elderly Russian lady who lives next door. Please note that she needs to be home before 10 pm so she can feed her cats. Prizes are not transferable. Judges decision is final and no correspondence will be entered into.

Competition Results : The form analysis skills of the Turf Deli punters came to the fore in this one, with their keen minds quickly doing the form and realising that there was only one entrant with Flemington 3200M form, and that was 1992 Melbourne Cup winner Subzero. All the winners thus get to share the main prize. We have contacted the All You Can Eat buffet at Sizzler’s to warn them to await the bus of hungry diners with one little old lady.

Once again, we apologise for plumbing the depths of the English language to include political satire (sarcasm is not the lowest form of wit, political satire is).

The Phantom Call : The small field for this year’s Cup is quickly loading in. The American 4 x 100 team look fit and well muscled. John Howard has been sweating up quite badly in his shorts and t-shirt, and is a bit reluctant to go into his stall, but they’ve circled him around again, put on the black hood and given him a good hit on the rump and he has gone straight in….The light’s on…And they are racing…!!!

Oh No!! One’s stayed in the barrier…. Its the American 4 x 100M track relay team - it looks like they have caught sight of their own reflection in the shiny metal of the barrier stalls…and they've gone into a full on muscle flexing and posing routine. They could be there for hours. What a disaster !! I just hope they can clear them away before the next race. They should have never taken the blinkers off...

The rest of the field is away well and settled nicely. Tatiana is out and racing, free striding in front, with Subzero pocketed away with good cover… a grinning and beaming John Howard is purposefully power walking away at the back of the field, but seems to be struggling to catch up. No change as they come along the back.

Coming up to the home turn, and Tatiana is cruising along nicely…no wait… she’s drifted off the track on the home turn and gone towards the outside rail…she's obviously been distracted by something in the crowd ... she's heading towards the outside rail...and straight over and into the crowd !

Think she must have seen a photo opportunity in the crowd and been distracted. This is turning into a race of attrition.

So its down to a race of two, Subzero is left in front, with Johnnie biding his time behind him, waiting for the inside run…there’s a narrow gap opening, and he’s going for it ! He’s dived through, but the gap is closing again - oh no - Subzero has shifted in suddenly and sent Johnnie through the inside railing.. he is lying motionless on the inside track…Subzero is running away to an easy win…It’s not looking good for Johnnie - they’ve bought out the screen…Subzero’s Melbourne Cup.

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